I have been thinking about my progression to my current state of thought regarding ‘freedom’. I think that to be free you have to not really give a shit about too much of anything. I am no longer looking for that perfect place where ‘WE’ can all be free together! I now realize that most people don’t really want freedom or privacy or yada yada yada. Its just the noise that some sheep make while jabbering. Most people like being in the warm and comforting embrace of tyranny. I have given up on finding a ‘home’ that I can share with fellow freedom lovers. That animal is far too rare to come across on a regular basis. Nor am I looking for an ideal place where I can settle down. No, now I am just looking for places where I can be free to do what I want on my own without too much interference from others.
As some of you may be aware I have been working on this project since 2013 (and actually much earlier… but that is another story), and that I left the USSA in 2015 for sunny Israel. I was pursuing my dream of returning to Israel (in both meanings of the term — as a ‘returning’ Jew and as someone who visited Israel in the late 1980s and really liked it). I went to Israel expecting to be at ‘home’.
That feeling lasted about a month, and then I started getting pissed. What really pissed me off, and what made it impossible for me to live happily there, was the false expectation on my part that I would be accepted as an Israeli. When I realized that I would never be accepted as an Israeli no matter what I did (learn Hebrew, happily swallow the shit Israelis have to put up with, repeat the dumb ass shit that Israelis tell each other, etc.) — that I would always be a profoundly distrusted Oleh (Hebrew for immigrant) — I completely lost interest. My Hebrew actually got worse while I was there. My subconscious mind went out of its way to remove it my from skull.
Now I don’t really give a shit about any of that anymore. At least that is what I tell myself.
I ended up leaving Israel for a one month vacation to the Republic of Georgia… and I never went back. I bought a nice house in an old neighborhood in Tbilisi, and thought I had found ‘home’. For the first 2 years everything was going so great that I actually bought into all the bullshit that they were dishing out about Georgia; that it was a free market paradise, that the people really liked foreigners, that I had found a place where I could be at home! Not only that, but I bought into the bullshit that I was some sort of genius or prophet! What an idiot I was. About 3 years ago everything started going south in Georgia. The Georgians went from being insanely pro-foreigner to being insanely anti-foreigner. I should have picked up on the ‘insane’ part earlier. Oh well. I managed to pick up on it early enough to divest myself of most of my very unwise investments in the country, at a substantial profit, and now I just have some real property there which is not even worth trying to sell.
Real property that I have not been able to see since January of 2020. I was visiting the USSA on some personal business, and then the BeerBug Lockdowns trapped me there. No more flights to Georgia for me! I stayed in the USSA as long as I could, pretending to be happy, but the place just gets under my skin like a bad rash.
Right now I am in Mexico, and mostly I am enjoying myself. I feel free here. More free than most Mexicans I suspect. You can go on and on about this or that bad news about Mexico, but I don’t give a shit. Not only do I not care about what happens here, other than to the point that it directly effects me, I don’t even understand most of what they are saying. Its rather liberating!
I tried to get to that point in the USSA — just don’t give a shit — do whatever I want regardless of what the assholes tell me to do — but I can’t do it. I look around at my country and it makes me want to weep.
No matter how fucked up Mexico or Georgia or wherever may be I just don’t give a shit. Its good for me now and that’s good enough. If I found out that Mexico was no longer good for me, I would be on the next airplane out without a second thought. No matter how hard I try with the USSA I just cannot do that.
I have no delusions anymore that I am going to find some perfect place. Nor do I have any belief that I will find other people who share my desires and beliefs. Everyplace you go is going to be screwed up more or less, and everyone I meet is a sheep… more or less. Now I am just looking for a place where I can hang my hat and not be fucked around too much. Mexico is working out pretty good for me. And if that changes? I will be out of here like a bat out of hell.
